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children with special needs

A Mother Reflects: Daughter With Special Needs Surpasses Doctors’ Predictions (from NYMetroParents)

A Mother Reflects: Daughter With Special Needs Surpasses Doctors’ Predictions (from NYMetroParents)

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 03/27/2014

My following post was first published as an article in NY Metro Parents on March 24, 2014. (Click here to read it on NYMetroParents.com) Our 24-year-old daughter lives in a two-bedroom apartment, 15 minutes from our home, with another young woman and staff supervision. She has two volunteer jobs and one paying job. Her volunteer […]

Closing In On A Year & Building Trust: 3-12-12

Closing In On A Year & Building Trust: 3-12-12

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 03/12/2012

March 30, 2011: In a little more than two weeks it will be a year since the first post on Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time. Last week our daughter’s entire team of staff members from ABD (Ability Beyond Disability) and her DDS (Connecticut Department of Developmental Services) case manager sat down […]

Social Graces and Seven Months: 2-27-12

Social Graces and Seven Months: 2-27-12

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 02/27/2012

Demo Day: Saturday our family attended “Demo Day” at the Pegasus Equestrian Center in Brewster, New York, where our daughter, along with other students, demonstrated her equine knowledge and skill acquired in their “Horse & Me” winter “unmounted” program. At the stable, each student in her class stood by a horse while they and their […]

Who Defines Disability? The DSM V and Autism: 1-23-12

Who Defines Disability? The DSM V and Autism: 1-23-12

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 01/23/2012

Who Defines Disability: The New York Times last week published two articles back to back regarding the controversy in the medical and special needs communities over the revamping of the Autism Spectrum diagnoses including Asperger’s Syndrome and Pervasive Developmental Disorder NOS (“not otherwise specified”) for the 2013 publication of the DSM V also known as […]

The Artichoke: 12-12-11

The Artichoke: 12-12-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 12/12/2011

Update: Our daughter’s past week of adult living has been a hearty combination of successful vocational programming, physical activity and social fun. Actually, I didn’t see the gal from our brief interlude last Monday until Sunday evening, though we texted and talked. She swam with Angelfish, sang with SPHERE, cleaned and combed cats at ROAR […]

Coffee Grinds: The Sequel 11-16-11

Coffee Grinds: The Sequel 11-16-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 11/16/2011

Spill Over Into Wednesday: I regrouped, or so I thought, from yesterday’s weariness only to find this morning that my coffee filter was gone. Guess how? Yep, when I emptied the filter onto the Fed Ex envelope that I mindlessly threw into the garbage, the filter went in too. Pretty concrete way to measure exhaustion. […]

The Delights of Difference: 11-06-11

The Delights of Difference: 11-06-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 11/06/2011

Pride To The Sky: Yesterday our son and his boyfriend joined day two of our daughter’s birthday celebration. The young men took the train from the city and we all drove to the Palace Theater in Waterbury, Connecticut to see In The Heights and catch up with their high school buddy who is in the […]

We Are So “P” of You: 11-5-11

We Are So “P” of You: 11-5-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 11/05/2011

A Run Down On The Cats: During our ride back from the birthday dinner/shopping celebration last evening, our daughter described her work at The Complete Cat Clinic earlier that day. She spoke of Elwin Nelson, Mocha and Coco. Elwin Nelson is white with brown patches, a male and “adorable.” Coco is a cat whom our daughter […]

Super Giggles: 11-04-11

Super Giggles: 11-04-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 11/04/2011

No Roar, Yet Giggles: Today is our daughter’s twenty-second birthday. I called her this morning and sang “happy birthday to you” with some silliness added on. She exploded in giggles, which sent waves of joy through the phone line to me. Excited much? You bet. And today was to be her second “first day” volunteering […]

Two Lady Grumps With A Lot To Share: 11-3-11

Two Lady Grumps With A Lot To Share: 11-3-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 11/03/2011

Senior Residence: Surprise, Surprise, Ridgefield Crossings start date has been delayed another week due to power outage. Still waiting to hear from Roar, postponed last week due to Ringworm. These vocational settings have been fraught with problems, though the trustworthy Complete Cat Clinic has remained steadfast and true so far. Medicaid Update: Looks like the bureaucratic glitch […]

Coming Up On 22: 11-2-11

Coming Up On 22: 11-2-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 11/02/2011

Birthday Girl: Two days from today our daughter celebrates her twenty-second birthday, which will be marked by a variety of events including attending theater in Waterbury, Connecticut to see “In The Heights” and a trip to the Vera Bradley store at the Westfarms Mall. Bass Player Pal: Her brother and his boyfriend are coming up […]

Giardia and Feral Cats: 10-24-11

Giardia and Feral Cats: 10-24-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/24/2011

Smart Girl: I caught up with our daughter at last when she called me yesterday around 2:30 P.M. as I was on route with my son to help him move into his new apartment/closet on 15th Street in N.Y.C. The young lady surfaced at last to give me her view of her tour of ROAR, […]

Sick & Pissed: 10-23-11

Sick & Pissed: 10-23-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/23/2011

Sick & Pissed: My visit to the “infirmary” yesterday revealed a young lady on the red couch, still stuffed up and anxious about her ROAR training, focusing mostly on the new vocational life skills staff person who has to train with her today at 11:00 a.m. I am typing this at 10:58 with the hopes […]

Tender Care: 10-22-11

Tender Care: 10-22-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/22/2011

TLC: Last evening hubby and I stopped by our daughter’s apartment after work to deliver her Vogue Magazine, The Quarterboard, Riverview School’s newsletter which included a photo of our daughter, and her Mucinex D. The young lady was watching the movie Julie and Julia, seated on her red couch in her pink Susan G. Komen sweat […]

No Answer, Not Much: 10-20-11

No Answer, Not Much: 10-20-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/20/2011

No Answer: I am not sure what activities were scheduled for our daughter’s vocational day today as neither she nor any of her staff have answered my calls. By next week I am hopeful that both placements, ROAR and Ridgefield Crossings will be in place. I know that her ROAR training is scheduled for this Sunday. […]

Angelfish: 10-18-11

Angelfish: 10-18-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/18/2011

Swim Lesson At Last: Tonight our daughter will have her first semi-private swim lesson with Angelfish, and Cindy Freedman, the talented occupational therapist who welcomed our daughter as a volunteer last Spring. Cindy’s talents are known far and wide.  My fingers are crossed that our daughter will allow the Angelfish magic to take hold, and […]

Love Her For Who She Is: 10-17-11

Love Her For Who She Is: 10-17-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/17/2011

Ronan: I had an idea for today’s post but dropped it this morning when I read Emily Rapp’s piece in Sunday’s New York Times, Notes From A Dragon Mom, about her son Ronan, eighteen months old, who has Tay-Sachs Disease. The article is painful, so I am not suggesting it to readers without a useful motive. […]

Full Circle: 10-16-11

Full Circle: 10-16-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/16/2011

Off To Take Her Home: We just had a marvelous evening. Our daughter and son spent a cozy Fall dinner in our home with two of our dear friends whom they have not been with since they were little children. The wife was a classmate of mine in graduate school and remains as dear to […]

More Than One Mother: 10-15-11

More Than One Mother: 10-15-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/15/2011

Cozy Comfort: Last evening I dropped by our daughter’s apartment to deliver her dog magazine and a Pegasus announcement of a pumpkin-carving party next weekend, and while there, was able to take the pulse on her mood after her “misunderstanding” with a staff member. She looked great, was having popcorn and watching a movie with […]

Trouble In Paradise: 10-14-11

Trouble In Paradise: 10-14-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/14/2011

Oh Dear: Our daughter called at 9:03 a.m. today. And then again at 9:06. I was working but when I picked up the message at 10:15, it was something like this: “I am having a water problem.” Well, it has been raining fairly steadily for 24 hours so I assume there is a leak in […]

Join Their World: 10/10/11

Join Their World: 10/10/11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/10/2011

100 Years Of Peter Pan: Today’s New York Times Op Ed section had a piece written by Maria Tatar, chairman of Harvard’s folklore and mythology program who reminded us all that this week Wendy and Peter are one hundred years of age. In my opinion, one hundred wonderful years for those of us who fell in […]

Patches Missing In The Quilt: 10-09-11

Patches Missing In The Quilt: 10-09-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/09/2011

The Vocational Patch: It is now probably six weeks or so since the vocational life skills staff member abruptly left her post, leaving our daughter with only one volunteer job at The Complete Cat Clinic, a placement I had found for her two years ago. The other possibilities, ROAR, the animal shelter, and the senior residence […]

Mom’s Boundaries: 10/06/11

Mom’s Boundaries: 10/06/11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/06/2011

What A Walker Gal: We had a great time in NYC. The show was a hit with our daughter. The star Sutton Foster owned the stage, tap dancer par excellence with vocal chords any aspiring diva would envy. We loved it all. We parked the car thirty blocks from the theater, as the day was […]

A Times Square Gal: 10-05-11

A Times Square Gal: 10-05-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/05/2011

New York, New York: We are heading in to NYC to see “Anything Goes” today. Our daughter and I. We are frequent attendees of the Times Square area, going back to her first Broadway show, which I think was, “Once Upon A Mattress” with Sarah Jessica Parker, (or maybe “The King and I” with Donna […]

Local Forgiveness and “Anything Goes”: 10-03-11

Local Forgiveness and “Anything Goes”: 10-03-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 10/03/2011

Anything Goes: Our daughter called twice today with scheduling questions. She likes to line up her events, which this week include attending theater on Wednesday to see “Anything Goes”, the 1930’s Cole Porter musical romance. The tickets are a combined graduation and upcoming birthday gift from her aunt. Our daughter loves the show’s leading lady, […]

Oldies but Goodies: Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time

Oldies but Goodies: Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/30/2011

Jill is taking a break from her daily posts tonight and tomorrow night, so since it’s Rosh Hashanah and the start of a new year, we thought it was a great time to revisit the very first Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time post from March 30, 2011. Excerpt: Your Child Is […]

Holes in The PJ’s and Snagged: 9-27-11

Holes in The PJ’s and Snagged: 9-27-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/27/2011

Sphere: This was a SPHERE day for our daughter. She and her apartment-mate joined a small number of fellow SPHERE members on a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Normally on a Tuesday she would be at her DSO program but she chose to go on the field trip. I […]

All About Me: 9-26-11

All About Me: 9-26-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/26/2011

Yes Indeed: It is almost 6 P.M. and today has been all about me. Well, almost. Our daughter had her Day Service Options (DSO) program at Ability Beyond Disability where they do a variety of social activities. And though I put in a call to her cell a half hour ago, she did not pick […]

Flying Home On A Donut: 9-24-11

Flying Home On A Donut: 9-24-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/24/2011

We Made It: I missed an exit leaving the Cape, no surprise as I was super sleepy. Sharing a bed with our daughter in an Inn she disliked (my mistake) left me super drained and groggy. Probably stirred up by the prospect of the following morning’s memorial service and reunion with former classmates, teachers, and […]

An Oblong Moon and Courage: 9-18-11

An Oblong Moon and Courage: 9-18-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/18/2011

A Revelation of Relief: Driving home from Ridgefield after dropping our daughter off following the movie “The Help” I saw this oblong moon in the sky. It was formed by an unusual arrangement of clouds framing its intense orb. Folks clearly had their first Fall fires burning in fireplaces and the car registered 50 degrees […]

A Date With A Lady: 9-17-11

A Date With A Lady: 9-17-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/17/2011

Bouncing and Beaming:  This morning I met our daughter at the Pegasus Equestrian Center in Brewster, New York for the first class of her Fall program. The only female amongst five members, the group were of similar ages, one young man already living in a group home in Norwalk, Connecticut, managed by the service agency Star. […]

Purposeful Blogging, Pass It Along: 9-15-11

Purposeful Blogging, Pass It Along: 9-15-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/15/2011

Get Started Now: Our daughter has been participating in the Ability Beyond Disability adult program for 2 plus months with the residential piece in place for the last 6 weeks. As I track this transition to independent living with supports, I am mindful that readers who have more recently joined this narrative may not benefit […]

Sibling “Sonshine”: 9-12-11

Sibling “Sonshine”: 9-12-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/12/2011

The Other Children: Two weeks prior to my fortieth birthday, we had our first child, a son. He was and is the love of my life. I could have stopped there but being one of three children, my husband one of five, I pondered the wisdom of a second go around. I began to gather […]

No Dad’s Paintings Please: 9-6-11

No Dad’s Paintings Please: 9-6-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 09/06/2011

Love Her Spunk: The Ridgefield CRS apartment is a pretty stylish place these days. The residential coordinator picked out an area rug for the living room, a runner for the hall and hung some curtains to soften the noises being emitted from the red couch. Both the coordinator and the other mother, having seen her […]

A Very Social Storm: 8-28-11

A Very Social Storm: 8-28-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/28/2011

We Bailed: The vote was unanimous, five in favor of boarding the 1:30 ferry yesterday bound for Bridgeport, Connecticut, a smooth crossing indeed. After stops for food, including a local farm replete in pigs, blueberries and an amazing flax seed bread, we reached home. Our son made his original wheat berry beef stew, inviting his […]

Attaining A Rhythm: 8-25-11

Attaining A Rhythm: 8-25-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/25/2011

Another Pop-In: Our son stopped by his sister’s apartment with a friend yesterday. They all had a blast together, the two young men, our daughter, her apartment-mate and some staff. The apartment offers a great social meeting place. Today I will run over at her request to chat about some “social” issues arising from a […]

Did You Miss Me? 8-23-11

Did You Miss Me? 8-23-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/23/2011

The Chocolate Lab Comes Home: Last evening my husband and I visited our daughter at her apartment, bringing both the stuffed dog and her real dog, Ms. Wags, aka Waggy, whom she hadn’t seen since August 1. I had the feeling that our daughter really missed us this past weekend. She called many times while […]

Closing In On Fall: 8-22-11

Closing In On Fall: 8-22-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/22/2011

September Schedule: When your children are no longer following a school semester schedule (first time in 21 years for us) and you happen into a Staples or even CVS, busting at the seams with frantic moms and distracted kids racing around with baskets full of notebooks and binders, it comes as a shock. Oh no, […]

Sheer Coincidence and The Personal Pays Off: 8-21-11

Sheer Coincidence and The Personal Pays Off: 8-21-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/21/2011

Magic: The sheer coincidence of things makes me wonder if readers will think I am writing fiction not fact. But fact it is. Two days ago my focus was on concerns that our daughter’s volunteer job at the cat clinic was ending with no new animal-related work on the horizon and what was my role […]

The Elusive Job Piece: 8-19-11

The Elusive Job Piece: 8-19-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/19/2011

A Door Closes: The latest news on the volunteer job front is a bit unsettling. The Complete Cat Clinic, a veterinary practice which specializes in the care and breeding of our feline friends, is a small and cozy operation. Dr. Sharon Eisen, the owner and friend, welcomed our daughter’s services over the last few years […]

Expressing Sympathy And A Special Needs Match: 8-18-11

Expressing Sympathy And A Special Needs Match: 8-18-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/18/2011

I Am Sorry For Your Loss: Those are the words our daughter wrote, unprompted, on the sympathy card she sent yesterday to her friend’s parents. I was so touched. She added one more sentence, “I miss…” and signed her name. Who taught her those words? I did, the culture did. She absorbs it all, seamlessly, […]

The Night Shift and Supplemental Needs Trusts: 8-17-11

The Night Shift and Supplemental Needs Trusts: 8-17-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/17/2011

Unrealized Fears: The other mother and I had worries about the nighttime staff. The two women had appeared sleepy and detached at the all-staff introduction only a few short days before the girls moved to their new apartment and alarm bells related to nighttime, new home and strangers in charge rang loud in our maternal […]

A Condolence And Busy Being Neighbors: 8-16-11

A Condolence And Busy Being Neighbors: 8-16-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/16/2011

Neighbors: This is a unique chapter indeed. Prior to boarding school, which began when our daughter was sixteen, she spent most of her time out of school with her parents. In the last five years, ten months of the school year and five weeks in the summer our daughter lived four hours away, eight total round […]

Losing A Friend: 8-15-11

Losing A Friend: 8-15-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/15/2011

What Do You Say? Our daughter lost a school friend yesterday. I received an email while we were lunching with her cousins that one of her classmates died suddenly, unexpectedly. They had shared a graduation two months earlier. I didn’t tell her at first but waited until we were back in her apartment and her […]

A Trot And A Halt: 8-13-11

A Trot And A Halt: 8-13-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/13/2011

Pegasus Summer:  Sadly, our daughter’s summer riding program ended this morning. She trotted, halted and went on a trail ride displaying balance, focus and progress beyond my expectations. Much is due to her awesome instructor, Liz Fortis. Though on the waiting list for Pegasus’ Fall program, our daughter will definitely attend the winter “unmounted” program […]

Pregnant, Tired Or Fired? Nope Just Gone: 8-12-11

Pregnant, Tired Or Fired? Nope Just Gone: 8-12-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/12/2011

Irony, Life’s Theme Song: I just reread the last paragraph in my 8-8-11 post. The paragraph started with the topic: “I Love This Coach” and ended with a silent prayer. I think you get my drift already. Yes, the coach is gone, poof, as of yesterday. No kidding. Neither pregnant, tired nor fired, she just left. […]

A Date And A Cake: 8-11-11

A Date And A Cake: 8-11-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/11/2011

Celebrating Again: A dear friend and colleague who lives three doors down from our daughter’s apartment visited last evening with her daughter, a cake and a splendid bouquet of yellow flowers. My husband and I escorted the ladies out to a local restaurant where our daughter regaled them with her take on Planet of Apes, […]

A Visit From DDS: 8-10-11

A Visit From DDS: 8-10-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/10/2011

Yesterday’s News: Our outstanding Connecticut Department of Developmental Services case manager visited the young ladies’ apartment yesterday. She sent me an email to express how much she liked the apartment, how happy the girls seem to be and what a wonderful job Ability Beyond Disability has done in fulfilling the record keeping requirements of DDS. […]

“Buck” Brings A Tear: 8-9-11

“Buck” Brings A Tear: 8-9-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/09/2011

Tough Stuff: My girlfriend and I had a long awaited evening out last night. We went to see the movie “Buck,” a documentary produced and directed by Cindy Meehl, which captures the pain and beauty of the man who inspired the book and film, “The Horse Whisperer.” As Ms. Meehl lives in our town and […]

A Thumbs Up On Planet of The Apes: 8-8-11

A Thumbs Up On Planet of The Apes: 8-8-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/08/2011

Afternoon Review: As soon as I finished my post yesterday, with the assumption that our daughter was done with me for the day, she called. Back from her movie, and eager to share her impressions, we talked for about forty-five minutes. James Franco rocked, and the ape movie received a thumbs up from someone whose […]

Funding A Life and Some Polo Play: 8-7-11

Funding A Life and Some Polo Play: 8-7-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/07/2011

Polo and Work: Dad reported wonderful things about our daughter’s Pegasus riding yesterday. The students were mimicking polo play, holding foam sticks aimed at balls on cones; even the horses were being trained to nudge the balls off the cones. She trotted, rising high in her saddle, followed by leaning so far forward that a […]

The Quesadilla Maker: 8-6-11

The Quesadilla Maker: 8-6-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/06/2011

The Redheads Come To Call: One P.M. yesterday, just as advertised, our visitors rang the doorbell at our daughter’s new apartment. Mother and daughter drove 3 plus hours southwest to welcome our daughter to her new home. They came bearing gifts in colorfully wrapped packages, both eager to support our gal’s new life. Our daughter […]

Off To The City, Feeling A Little Giddy: 8-4-11

Off To The City, Feeling A Little Giddy: 8-4-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/04/2011

Facebook Cheering Squad: Before I head off to NYC, I must report that viewing my Facebook page and seeing the comments folks send to my daughter, comments from family, her friends, my friends and her brother’s friends, touches me deeply. I posted photos of the girls’ “installation” into their new abode and the feedback, “love […]

Successful Launch: 8-2-11

Successful Launch: 8-2-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 08/02/2011

Celebrating With Balloons and An Earache: Truly all went smoothly yesterday. Aside from an earache, probably swimmers ear (she is being taken to her doctor today by staff, amazing), the move-in was a triumph of coordination and readiness. Seven ABD staff members were present, setting up, cleaning or just greeting our daughter and her apartment-mate […]

The Chocolate Fountain and Mom’s Cognitive Confusion: 7-31-11

The Chocolate Fountain and Mom’s Cognitive Confusion: 7-31-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/31/2011

The Summer of Love About To End? Tonight is the final night home…tomorrow’s dawn introduces the new regime. For six weeks our daughter has conducted two on again, off again summer romances via cell phone conversations, Facebook and texting. Once she moves into her apartment new rules apply. This social romp, with no face-to-face encounters […]

Night Time Fears: 7-30-11

Night Time Fears: 7-30-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/30/2011

A Team of Caretakers: Ability Beyond Disability, our service provider agency, is hoping that the program developed for our daughter and her apartment mate will serve as both a template and a model program in the State. Utilizing the CRS residential category (a Connecticut Department of Developmental Services (DDS) model that translates to Continuous Residential Supports For […]

Bed Made, Now Sleep In It: 7-29-11

Bed Made, Now Sleep In It: 7-29-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/29/2011

Apartment Ready: Yesterday our daughter worked at the Ridgefield Library straightening out the books. She also went swimming with her job coach at the Ridgefield Park and Recreation. All is proceeding beautifully. They then had a brown bag lunch (my daughter makes her bologna sandwich the night before) and came back to the family home. I […]

Haunting Scenarios: 7-28-11

Haunting Scenarios: 7-28-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/28/2011

Supermarket Couples: The images of elderly moms and middle-aged special needs adult children walking down the aisles of local markets always haunted me. Long before I had my own special child, I would see these twosomes and wonder what would happen to this special adult when their parent died? It all seemed so sad and […]

When Will We See Her Again?  7-27-11

When Will We See Her Again? 7-27-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/27/2011

Gulp: Today I spoke with our residential coordinator from ABD who is busy tying up loose ends, training staff and figuring out the Wi-Fi conundrum. I asked her about the move-in day, August 1. “Do we just send her off to her DSO (Day Service Options) at 9 a.m. and then she goes home to her […]

Count Down: 7-26-11

Count Down: 7-26-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/26/2011

Ready Or Not: I think I am ready for the hand-off. More importantly is our daughter? I think so. I’m beat. But this is not about Mom. This is about our daughter and I think she is ready too. Home is good but it includes a “nagging mom” and nagging moms, at some point, are […]

How Do You Teach Gratitude And Hurrah For The Other Mother: 7-25-11

How Do You Teach Gratitude And Hurrah For The Other Mother: 7-25-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/25/2011

The Dining Table Deal: While we were blissfully removed from the angst of Wi-Fi and cable installation (not happening) enjoying a weekend by the sea, the other mother was nailing down the rest of the kitchen list and buying the living room television. Brava, Other Mother! And even better, she saw the dining table I […]

Back To Reality And A Star Magnet: 7-24-11

Back To Reality And A Star Magnet: 7-24-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/24/2011

Sunday’s Farewell: The weekend family frolic is ending and we will soon board the ferry back to reality. I don’t know if the other mother picked up the list of household/ kitchen items and went off to shop. Or if measurements were taken with the intention to purchase the flat screen television for the living […]

Successfully Installed With One Glitch: 7-21-11

Successfully Installed With One Glitch: 7-21-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/21/2011

Danny and The Truck: Interesting how you can monitor delivery by the moment. Tracker Bob, or whatever it is called, keeps you guessing, but gives you answers. It’s just that they keep changing the answers, up, down and sideways. However, I did install myself in the Ridgefield apartment which joyously has central A.C., with my […]

No Cable, No Move? And Mucho Dinero: 7-20-11

No Cable, No Move? And Mucho Dinero: 7-20-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/20/2011

No Kidding: 8:33 P.M. last evening our residential coordinator emailed that installation of the cable Wi-Fi system failed yesterday due to antiquated wiring. Hey, that sounds like me, antiquated wiring and some fraying around the edges. Her staff requires Internet access immediately upon move-in and it wasn’t certain that cable rescheduling with re-wiring is possible […]

Pots, Pans and New Plans: 7-18-11

Pots, Pans and New Plans: 7-18-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/18/2011

Outfitting For Adulthood: Yesterday, the sunny sleepy summer kind of day, our daughter was content to loll around the house, regrouping from a hectic first week of Ability Beyond Disability programming, two very social nights at home, and an energizing yet ultimately enervating sidewalk sales event the previous day. Unfortunately for her, Mom has a […]

Ambiguity Doesn’t Work For Special Needs:  7-17-11

Ambiguity Doesn’t Work For Special Needs: 7-17-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/17/2011

Sleep Overs: While observing our daughter frolicking with family friends, her brother and one of his pals last evening, I began to wonder, when she moves in to her apartment, will we have sleepovers? How does that work? If home is there and home is still kind of here, can she just call and say, “Can […]

Not All Links In The Chain Are The Same: 7-16-11

Not All Links In The Chain Are The Same: 7-16-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/16/2011

Incomplete Cat: Yesterday I hit a wall. Our daughter’s day, an “Individualized Day” with a coach who takes her to her volunteer job, was a bomb. First the poor lady got lost coming to the house. Not a biggie. But then the placement, The Complete Cat Clinic in Brookfield, CT, didn’t know they were coming. […]

Staff With Bounce And Mom Bumps: 7-15-11

Staff With Bounce And Mom Bumps: 7-15-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/15/2011

Playing Catch Up: Wednesday was “Individualized Home Support” day. Since the ladies have not as yet moved into their apartment, the home support consisted of a residential staff person, Melissa, arriving to pick up our daughter so they could spend time getting to know each other. The plan was to take her to the new […]

The Day Ran Away With Me: 7-14-11

The Day Ran Away With Me: 7-14-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/14/2011

Furniture: Though there is much to write about our daughter’s last two days in her program, I will leave that for tomorrow. Today I spent three hours buying bedroom furniture, because I realized at 5 a.m. last Monday, that it was less expensive and more pragmatic than dragging her bedroom here to there. With her […]

Madam Librarian And A Home In Two Towns: 7-13-11

Madam Librarian And A Home In Two Towns: 7-13-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/13/2011

Madam Librarian: At 4 P.M. yesterday, as instructed, I showed up at the Ridgefield Library, located in our daughter’s soon to be new hometown. As most continental Americans know, July 12th, 2011, was one hot day. Our daughter emerged from the library panting much like puppy dog Wags whom I had just left at home. […]

The Pop-In, A Flat Tire But A Decent Day: 7-12-11

The Pop-In, A Flat Tire But A Decent Day: 7-12-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/12/2011

The Pop-In: I did do the pop-in at noontime. The little bus was late but off our daughter went to her first day of two-per-week attending a group program at ABD’s Leir Pavillon. Just twenty minutes from our home, I was able to dash over between sessions to observe the Day Support Options, a fairly ambiguous […]

Waiting For The Little Bus, Again? 7-11-11

Waiting For The Little Bus, Again? 7-11-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 07/11/2011

Deja Vu: It is 8:15 a.m. and our daughter is up, dressed, breakfasted and logged on to Facebook. The Ability Beyond Disability bus is expected any moment. After a five-year absence, and no longing for its return, I can’t believe the little bus will be coming up the drive again. So many memories of little […]

The Little Mermaid: 5-27-11

The Little Mermaid: 5-27-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 05/27/2011

Which Mermaid Was That? Out of state friends visited some months after our daughter’s birth. I was in the throes of Disney ecstasy, believe it or not, after having seen the Little Mermaid with our son, who shared my joy. After all, what could be more reggae fun than Sebastian the crab and the hysterically evil Ursula, […]

SPHERE, Special People Indeed:  5-22-11

SPHERE, Special People Indeed: 5-22-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 05/22/2011

An Acronym That Works: SPHERE , founded in 1987 by a group of parents in the town of Ridgefield, Connecticut, stands for: Special People Housing Education Recreation Employment. And Wow, they are special! Last night I attended the yearly performance of SPHERE’s theater group. This year, for the first time, the group made a movie, an […]

Protecting The Siblings of Special Needs: 5-5-11

Protecting The Siblings of Special Needs: 5-5-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 05/05/2011

The Others: I don’t know the statistics, but I would bet that most of us special needs parents have other children. I have spent a great deal of time amongst these other children, my other child, and the children of  families with whom we have shared Special Olympics or horse back riding programs, special needs […]

Training For Mother’s Day: 5-4-11

Training For Mother’s Day: 5-4-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 05/04/2011

Mother’s Day and Special Needs: Our daughter is upset that she will not be spending Mother’s Day with me. She can if she really wants to do that. I can drive up to her school in four hours. That is not the problem. Ambivalence: What seems to be at work here is the issue of […]

Parenting Special Needs: Find a Mutual Passion: 4-7-11

Parenting Special Needs: Find a Mutual Passion: 4-7-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 04/07/2011

Bonding and Passion: Follow Their Bread Crumbs. I was thinking about how I discovered the key to managing a young defiant special needs child. For many many years our daughter was resistant to most activities outside the home except shopping. She loved the mall. At 2 years old she could go through the racks of […]

Are We There Yet? 4-6-11

Are We There Yet? 4-6-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 04/06/2011

Purpose, Patience and Perseverance, The Three P’s of This Process: A fellow parent from my daughter’s school emailed yesterday with questions regarding the aging out process. Her daughter is a fellow schoolmate of our daughter, one year her junior and from a different state. As I responded to her email a bunch of memories flowed […]

Having A Comrade Helps: 4-3-11

Having A Comrade Helps: 4-3-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 04/03/2011

Our daughter is matched with another young lady to share an apartment (a CRS), and supervisory staff (utilizing the same service agency, required,  and a common DDS case manager, helpful but not necessary). Two young ladies together is good. For funding and other reasons, three would be better but no other match exists at this time. […]

Crazy Quilt, 4-2-11

Crazy Quilt, 4-2-11

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 04/02/2011

The actual date of the allocation of funding for our daughter’s new life remains elusive due to the labyrinthine nature of bureaucracy. Slated as a “priority age out”, that is, 21 years old, and having lived outside the parental home, with a sufficient level of need, our daughter is in a good position to receive […]

Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time

Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time

By Jill Edelman M.S.W., L.C.S.W . 03/30/2011

Your Child Is Coming Back To A Town Near You — Or  Maybe They Never Left: Our daughter is graduating this June from a special education boarding school and returning to her home state of Connecticut after five years living with peers in a dormitory setting where all needs were met: academic, social and vocational. […]

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